Thank you for your brave, honest and open words, Yuri.
Dealing with cancer is a lousy feeling, I know cause I have survived it twice as a boy and a man but like yourself, It has returned for a third time and the battle is on going. The name I use on this forum is my actual nickname in real life, I live with the darkness and suicidal thoughts as well, they are with me everyday and I just try to find something to help me get through daily and it is not easy but it is all I know.
I am not one of those people who are so wrapped up in bubble of their busy lifestyles watching endless triviality tv,etc I like too stop, look up into a night sky and say Hello old friends, taking my time to ponder about life, the universe or self and ask is this all there f&cking is!
It is just the hand we are are dealt, to some it is not a great hand but it could be the winning hand.
I would be lost without this ATG forum, It is a door into an exterior of my realm a place where people like JamieM makes me laugh with his jokes, Nishy, Rowlers, Halvour, and many, many more enlightened me and shared their generosity with me or I get to see WTF is wrong with Wayne today!
I don't shave as much now as I did, the hair just ain't there but I do like those frangrances. I'm not afraid of holding and using a straight edge and if some of my old doctors knew I used them, they would lock me up again. If you ever want to talk just send me a pm
But keep fighting.