Haircut on my own..


Forum GOD!
I saw this today while waiting to pickup a prescription for my wife. I’ve had bad haircuts but, not this bad.


Forum GOD!
When lockdown started, I had a beard and an unusually, for me, short hair cut. No hair cut led to me having really long hair on top with #1 guard shaved sides and lower back of head. Long ponytail that my daughter managed to badly braid back in April.

Thankfully, a neat and tidy job by the local Turkish barbers has restored normality up top and of course the beard is history. Mater says she’s got ‘her big boy’ back. She’s only 5’ 1. Cue accute embarrassment…

Crikey, I even pierced my own ear twice with a 1.8mm bore specialised piercing needle and a cork from Matron’s Prosecco. Matron was thrilled by the whole operation and daubed marker pen on my lobe where the two holes went. I did the piercing myself which was no bother: just a little blood. Wasn’t letting Matron do it as she was much too hyper and probably would’ve pierced my eyeball! All areas and gear thoroughly sterilized of course. Reckoned if my old Granny and her pals in the thirties managed to do it, a 6’ gairdner should be fine. Honestly, I had worse shaves in the early days and dermarollers? Don’t get me started!

Earrings ditched too now though as they were alright with a dodgy Viking-esque haircut and a beard but I didn’t like them at all whence back to my normal, clean cut self.

No Matron, you can’t give me a Prince Albert! Remember what happened last time? Yes, yes, I know you thought it would help with tethering but you mustn’t start invasive operations without my consent and whilst I’m sleeping. Honestly, I may have to start a body part checklist upon waking. God help me if she finds where I hid the chloroform. Ruddy woman’s a menace….


When I retired, I realised it might be good to learn to cut my own hair. I watched a video . I found a nice clipper off Amazon with several guards. So far so good.

Having gotten many poor haircuts over the years, I figure whatever I do will eventually grow out...LOL!!


Forum GOD!
I've gone for a "Janus" style of DIY scissor barbering. The front and sides (still equipped with lugs) look as they did in normal haircut times; albeit with a slight hint of motheaten unevenness, which is corrected as and when. The back, or that part which I can clap an eye on, is an interesting rendition of a 70s mullet as adopted by Worzel Gummidge.