Any good jokes?

Missoni

Fellow Traveller
BORIS has once again set the rules out for you all so plz dont get confused like last time. It's pretty much straight forward if you ask me

If anyone is having difficulty working out these new Covid rules, I’ve broken them down for you...
You can meet hundreds of people at work🏢or school🏫 you can brush shoulders🙎‍♀️, pick their noses👃and lick their face👅 if you wish?!But don’t meet more than 6 of these people in leisure time as the virus has mutated🤷‍♀️
It now only infects you if there’s 7 or more people in a group and you’re chilling out🧖‍♀️ It can not infect you at school or work, because it’s scared of the huge crowds of people🤔

You can still go to a pub🍻 where you are in an enclosed building breathing in everyone’s germs🧫 because Covid doesn’t drink🚫 so it doesn’t go to the pub of course🤷‍♀️
But scientists have discovered that Covid is quite partial to your parents👫 or friends👯‍♀️garden⚘🌱or house🏠 or in the open air🏞 where social distancing is very easy!
In fact, this is so risky😷that councillors are probably sat🪑 round a table in the local pub, discussing the closure of them right now!
It’s still ok for you to cram into tourists spots🗽🎡🎢🎠 as long as only 6 of you come at once, because 7 might tip it over the edge and make Covid sad🥺
But you are alright until Monday because the Virus must be still on Holiday🥳
Think that should clear things up! 😁👍🏻
 

JamieM

Forum GOD!
A geordie goes off with a prostitute from Leeds.
He drops his pants, gets his nob out and the Yorky Hooker. says "Eee by gum, that's a gud un"..
Geordie says "Whats a gud un"..??
She replies, "It means a Big One"..
She drops her knickers and the geordie says "Eee by gum, that's a canny un"
She says "What's a canny un"..???
Geordie replies, "A fecking big Valley that Cowboys ride their Horses through".:laugh:
 

Vacumatic

Dogged
A geordie goes off with a prostitute from Leeds.
He drops his pants, gets his nob out and the Yorky Hooker. says "Eee by gum, that's a gud un"..
Geordie says "Whats a gud un"..??
She replies, "It means a Big One"..
She drops her knickers and the geordie says "Eee by gum, that's a canny un"
She says "What's a canny un"..???
Geordie replies, "A fecking big Valley that Cowboys ride their Horses through".:laugh:

I think I know her.
 

Trevorphilipz

Regular Member
I got some viagra eye drops and gave my wife a hard look.
Since today is Sunday I figured one of my favorite church jokes might be appropriate :D

One Sunday morning an elderly couple were attending their meeting at their local church. Midway through the sermon, the wife leans over to her husband and whispers "I just let out a silent fart, what should I do?" Her husband looks at her and responds "put another battery in your hearing aid."
 
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